Just for Fun

Genealogy is fun. The answer to one question leads to two more questions.
My family coat of arms ties at the back. Is that normal?
Only a genealogist regards a step backwards as progress.
At the public ceremony in which your distinguished ancestor participated, the platform collapsed from under him.
After much hard work, you have resolved a mystery you’ve worked on for two years, then your aunt says “I could have told you that!”.
Your great grandfather’s newspaper obituary states he died leaving no children.
The thirty-seven volume, sixteen thousand-page history of your county of origin is not indexed.
Tombstone inscriptions:

Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon me for not rising. (cemetery in Ruidoso, NM)
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. He stepped on the gas instead of the brake. (cemetery in Uniontown, PA)
Here lies Lester Moore, four slugs from a .44, No Les, No more. (Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, AZ, Les was a Wells Fargo station agent in Naco, AZ)
She always said here feet were killing her but nobody believed her (Margaret Daniels in the Hollywood Cemetery in Richmond, VA)
Born 1903 – Died 1942. Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was. (Harry E. Smith, Albany, NY)